Funny Jokes Compilation (Get In Here)

Funny Jokes Compilation (Get In Here)

Having big boobs and ass is cool and sweet
Until it’s time for u
To run for ur life in the market
U will understand the difference between 911 and j5

*To those who have been in relationships for more than 5 yrs*
*Pliz assist me with past papers*

Some girls be like
My ex left a big hole in my heart …
You think you can decieve us
We know where the big hole is my sister

If You Still Remember Your EX’s Name,
That Means You Haven’t Moved On.

Thank God I Totally forgot Princess.
When proposing to an ugly chick
Guys be like…
” I hate to say this, but I love you”

Any Guy Who Raise His Hands To Beat A Girl Has Never Raised That Hands In Class

*My Oyinbo friend asked me “why Nigerians will lock their
car via remote and hear the lock sound and still check the
door to be sure”?*
*I told him that we like to be very sure. Our village people
might have played the lock sound in our ear.*

All these poor men harassing their wives for not giving
them
a male child, please what will The male child inherit
Dis is not d one doing me nw….

Married people will make love almost every night = no pregnancy
Young youths will just write text message and belle will enter…. hw manage
Me ayam not understanding again oooo

Who noticed this?
Yoruba people shout on phone,Igbo people lie on phone,Hausa people always call the wrong number.

Dhat awkward moment in hospital when you see a mosquito coming out from the HIV ward towards you
Taaa!! Taaaa!!!!..

Rihanna narrowly avoids nip slip as she flashes ENTIRE boob in red carpet wardrobe malfunction

 

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Rihanna luckily escaped a wardrobe malfunctionas she walked the red carpet of the Ocean’s 8 premiere in London.

Ocean’s 8 follows a group of women attempting to stage a heist at the Met Gala, which the character’s portrayers often frequent.

The film is the fourth instalment in the Ocean’s franchise and the first to feature an all female main cast.

LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 13:  Rihanna attends the 'Ocean's 8' UK Premiere held at Cineworld Leicester Square on June 13, 2018 in London, England.  (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)@@973397370.jpgGetty ImageHer nipple almost broke free of her dress [Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images]

Singer-turned-actress RiRi struggled to contain her cleavage in her gold metallic dress, almost flashing her entire right boob.

However, the singer managed to avoid a very close nip slip as she rearranged the dress.

The 30-year-old smiled up a storm on the red carpet as she pulled at the sleeve of her dress, keeping her modesty intact.

Rihanna at the Ocean's 8 film premiereRihanna poses on the Ocean’s 8 film premiere red carpet[Photo by Mike Marsland/WireImage]

Rihanna at the Ocean's 8 film premiereShe quickly grabbed her sleeve as she realised [EPA/WILL OLIVER]

Grinning as she avoided the mishap, the Work singer looked glam as she rocked the carpet in her foil-effect dress.

Her look was completed with a bright red lip and matching nails, while she wore her hair in a perfectly round top knot.

Rihanna’s co stars also took the red carpet, with Sandra Bullock and Helena Bonham Carter also opting for metallic outfits.

LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 13:  Rihanna attends the 'Ocean's 8' UK Premiere held at Cineworld Leicester Square on June 13, 2018 in London, England.  (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)@@973396036.jpgGetty Image

 

Boy Lands In Coma After Donating 6 Pints To Illegal Blood Bank Operator For N2,000 In Lagos

 

The gallant operatives of the Nigeria Police Force in Lagos State have apprehended a man, who lures kids to his apartment where he collects their blood and sells to hospitals.

A 45-year-old man, identified as Achibulu Paul, who lures minors to his apartment used as illegal blood bank in the Shomolu area of Lagos, where he collects their blood and sells to hospitals, has been arrested by the Police in Lagos.

According to a report by Vanguard, at the end of each collection, the suspect who engages in the illegal act until last Saturday, would give the minors N2,000.

It was gathered that one of the minors collapsed after the suspect collected six pints of blood from him. And as at yesterday, the 17-year-old victim was still unconscious in one of the hospitals in Bariga area of Shomolu.

The Lagos State Police Command, who after preliminary investigation, revealed that the ailing teenager had his blood collected twice last week by the suspect.

The first collection of three pints of blood, as gathered, was done last Monday. Five days later (last Saturday) another three pints of blood was allegedly collected by the suspect before the teenager fainted moments later.

The Police Command’s boss, Imohimi Edgal, visited the suspect’s illegal blood bank/laboratory which also served as residential apartment for his family, where seven pints of blood suspected to have been taken from the minors were recovered.

When asked what he used the blood for, the suspect said: “I sell it to hospitals and several other laboratories for N7,000 per pint.”

Thereafter, the suspect led the Commissioner of Police and other policemen to a hospital within the area which he claimed to have sold blood to.

The police boss mandated the hospital’s Chief Medical Director and other indicted staff to appear at the command’s headquarters within 48 hours to state their side of the story.

Edgal also visited the hospital where one of the victims, who collapsed last Saturday, was admitted. But the boy was unable to speak.

However, his mother, who expressed shock at the cause of her son’s ailment, explained that “my daughter received a telephone call from one of her friends, who informed her that my son was seen on a motorbike unconscious.

“When I was informed, I rushed home, found him in that state and took him to the hospital.”

 

 

Naira appreciates to N361 /$ in parallel market

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The Naira yesterday appreciated by N1 to N361  in the parallel market. The live exchange rate platform of the Association of Bureaux De Change Operators (ABCON), the parallel market exchange rate dropped to N360 per dollar yesterday from N361 per dollar on Tuesday, translating to N1 appreciation for the naira. Similarly, the naira yesterday appreciated by 20 kobo to N361.10 per dollar in the Investors and Exporters (I&E) window. The Data from FMDQ showed that the indicative exchange rate for the I&E window dropped to N361.10 per dollar from N361.30 on Tuesday, indicating 20 kobo appreciation for the naira.

 

Nigerian Rapper Goes Viral With His Take On ‘This Is America’

tin---boko-harm-dance-2m_custom-1675c425e804ee20daacd94f820d860ce49188bf-s700-c85.pngLast week, a Nigerian rapper released his own version of Childish Gambino’s hit song and music video “This Is America.”

It’s called “This Is Nigeria” and was written and performed by lawyer-turned-musician Falz The Bahd Guy. Like the hugely popular Donald Glover song and video (Gambino is his stage name), the Nigerian version looks at harsh everyday realities.

In “This Is America,” the issues include gun violence, racism and the distraction of viral entertainment and social media. Falz’s lyrics and visuals touch on some of Nigeria’s major problems: poor electricity supply, drug addiction and government corruption. The video even features veiled Muslim girls to allude to Boko Haram’s abductions of schoolgirls in the northeast.

Falz performs in pidgin English, a blend of English and local languages that is widely spoken in West Africa. The chorus says:

“This is Nigeria.
Never-ending recession-o
Where looters are killers and stealers are still contesting election-o.
Politician wey steal some billion and billion e no dey go prison-o.”

Released on May 25, just four days before the 19th anniversary of democracy in the West African nation, the three-minute video has been viewed on YouTube 2.9 million times. The hashtag #ThisIsNigeria has generated tens of thousands of tweets. And the song has captured the attention of the American rapper Diddy, who reposted “This Is Nigeria” on his Instagram account, where it currently has an additional 2.2 million views.

Falz, whose real name is Folarin Falana, is not new to social commentary. His music often reflects the views of his father, Femi Falana, a popular Nigerian lawyer and human rights activist. Falz’s previous songs “Child of the World,” “Confirm” and “Wehdone Sir” tackle sexual harassment, Internet fraud and the rise of wealthy megachurch pastors.

For a non-Nigerian, the scenes in the video may be a bit hard to figure out at times. Here’s a guide to some of the references and meanings:

Colonialism [0:10]

Falz with boombox.

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

The video begins with Falz clutching a boombox to his ear. The radio plays a clip from a speech delivered by his father, Falana, who is criticizing the Nigerian government: “… The medical facilities are poor. We operate a predatory neo-colonial capitalist system.” Falana speaks often on these issues on the radio.

Herders vs. farmers [00:30]

A machete-wielding man, dressed as a herdsman, simulates an attack on a blindfolded man. “Fulani herdsmen still dey slaughter, carry people dey massacre,” Falz says.

The scene refers to the country’s simmering conflict between herders, many from the Fulani ethnic group, and farming communities. Since 2011, both sides have been embroiled in clashes that have claimed more than 2,000 lives, according to Brussels-based think tank the International Crisis Group.

Money-eating snake [1:09]

Money eating snake

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

A woman picks up wads of colorful notes on the ground as a snake emerges from a half calabash melon to eat up the money. It’s a reference to a story from February: Philomena Chieshe, a sales clerk of Nigeria’s exam board, the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board, claimed that a snake ate 36 million naira ($100,000) from her office. Falz makes a joke about this story: “Where that Madam Philomena?” he asks, “money vanish for your office, 36 mily, you say na animal.”

Drug addiction [1:10]

In the video, Falz shows a young Nigerian disembarking from a bus with a bottle of cough syrup in one hand. Last month, Nigeria’s health ministry banned cough syrup with codeine after a BBC investigation revealed the role of the syrup in Nigeria’s addiction epidemic.

Corruption [1:17]

Falz makes several references to corruption, calling out politicians who have been accused of stealing from the government. By many accounts, corruption is one of Nigeria’s biggest problems. According to a U.N. report, roughly $4.6 billion is spent on bribes in Nigeria each year. This part of the video struck a chord with Kingsley Moghalu, former deputy governor of Nigeria’s central bank and presidential aspirant, who, after quoting the lyrics, called for a “new kind of leadership.”

Boko Haram [1:22]

Falz with Boko Haram

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

Falz is joined by four veiled Muslim schoolgirls, who depict the young women in Nigeria’s northeastern region where the radical group Boko Haram operates. Boko Haram militants came into the limelight in April 2014 when they kidnapped more than 270 schoolgirls from the town of Chibok.

In February, a splinter group of Boko Haram abducted 110 girls from an all-girls boarding school in the town of Dapchi in northeastern Nigeria’s Yobe state.

The girls are performing the shaku shaku dance, a street dance that became popular in Nigeria this year. A similar scene is represented in Glover’s “This Is America”: amid violence and chaos, students perform dances that have gone viral on the Internet. In Glover’s video, critics say the scene illustrates people’s tendency to get distracted by viral entertainment instead of focusing on social issues.

Unethical preachers [1:47]

Dishonest preachers

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

A young woman in a white garment is surrounded by a small group of people praying for her. In previous songs, Falz has criticized religious figures for money-making schemes. In “This is Nigeria,” Falz gets angrier: “Pastor put his hand in the breast of his member, he is pulling the demon out,” he raps. In April 2017, a Nigerian televangelist named Tim Omotoso was arrested and charged with trafficking more than 30 girls and women from various branches of his church, and allegedly sexually exploiting them.

Erratic electricity [1:51]

Falz worries that there is “no electricity daily o.” Nigerians often complain about this problem.

Lazy youth [1:54]

When President Muhammadu Buhari got a chance to speak at a Commonwealth Business Forum in Westminster on April, he said “a lot of” young Nigerians “sit and do nothing” and expect everything for free, including housing, health care and education. This attracted a backlash on social media, with young Nigerians using the hashtag #LazyNigerianYouth to fire back at the president. Falz’s rap defies the president’s assessment: “people working multiple jobs and dem talk sey we lazy o.”

Internet fraud [2:14]

Falz throws a jab at Nigerian fraudsters who try to con people into sending them money via the Internet. Known as Yahoo Boys, some pretend to be beautiful women online and get into romantic relationships in order to con people into sending money; others use malware to control systems and compromise emails. The stereotypical Yahoo Boy drives a fast car and flaunts his wealth.

The Nigerian pop star has been vocal about his dislike for society’s acceptance of ill-gotten wealth. In the song, he criticizes society for acting like these fraudulent schemes are “so cool.”

Police brutality [2:30]

SARS

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

In this scene, officers from the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS), a unit of the Nigerian police, arrest three university students only to free one of them upon receiving a bribe from his wealthy father. Two SARS officers hit and kick one of the students.

According a report from Amnesty International in 2016, SARS has been cited for accepting bribes as well as engaging in extortion, torture and degrading treatment of detainees in their custody. In December 2017, using the hashtag #EndSARS on social media, Nigerians strongly called for an end to the brutalitymeted out by SARS. In response, the Inspector General of Police Ibrahim Idris ordered an investigation of the anti-robbery squad.

“I mean transmission” [3:00]

Transmission

FalzVEVO via YouTube/Screen grab by NPR

This scene is a parody of a popular videofrom mid-May in which police chief Idris delivered a speech but ended up saying the word “transmission” over and over, rendering his talk nonsensical.

The reaction …

Some Nigerians are critical of the video.

But many are praising the song.

“I love the song,” Ezichi Ogbu, a senior at the University of Nigeria, says with a smile. “Everything about Falz’s ‘This is Nigeria’ depicts the ills affecting our society. He is serving as a voice of the people on the street, and he did this so well by creating certain situations on the background that tell the story better and in clear terms.”

“It’s a State of the Union address delivered just a few days to Democracy Day,” says Eromo Egbejule a Nigerian writer, journalist and West African editor of The Africa Report. “This is instructive socio-political commentary in a time where only a few bother with socially conscious music. The message has been delivered and right on time.”

Cultural critics like Joey Akan, a music journalist based in Lagos, are drawing parallels between Falz and Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti.

Until his death in 1997, Kuti also used music to criticize military dictators, corruption and other social problems. But his frankness and acerbic criticism came with consequences: He was arrested on several occasions, jailed and beaten by soldiers.

If anything like that were to happen to Falz, some of his fans say they’ll have his back.

Youtubers Seeing Red After Recent Policy Changes

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If you aren’t an avid YouTuber, then you probably haven’t noticed much in the way of changes that have happened on the video-streaming site. On the other hand, if you’re someone who is trying to gain internet fame (and the advertising dollars that go along with it), then odds are you’ve probably encountered a headache lately.

According to the new rules, YouTube will no longer allow its users to link to their own websites within the video’s “end card” or the last part of the video unless that video gets 10,000 views. That means most startups, small businesses, Patreons, and other fundraisers trying to promote their brands are at a huge disadvantage getting viewers to their website.

Arguably one of the best things about YouTube was how anyone could use it to put themselves or their brands out there and attract attention. Now, not only does your video need to hit the magic 10,000 views number, the account owner must also sign up for the YouTube Partner Program which regulates the content of the associated videos.

YouTube was criticized earlier this year when they started removing content that it considered “hate speech” and that “violates the terms of service.” These videos were overwhelmingly linked to the conservative right, and it was those users who believe they are being discriminated against.

The move to remove monetization from these videos came in August after Amazon, Coca-Cola, and Microsoft pulled their ads from YouTube over complaints that hate speech and other inflammatory videos were running alongside ads for their products.

This was a rude awakening for those who relied on the cash-in from video monetization for their income, especially for those who used to enjoy the flexibility of a free-speech medium to make money voicing their views – ones shared with its right-wing fanbase.

“There’s a difference between the free expression that lives on YouTube and the content that brands have told us they want to advertise against,” a YouTube spokesperson stated. “Giving advertisers a choice means giving them a choice not to run ads on sensitive content.”

YouTube isn’t a free-speech advocate website, it’s a money-making website, and the advertisers’ needs come before the users. That’s true of most media platforms that want to make money. And since YouTube’s paid service YouTube RED came out, maybe they don’t need to rely on the advertising dollars coming from these videos like they used to.

We wonder what changes YouTube will make next.

Microsoft, FirstBank partner to boost small businesses

Microsoft and First Bank of Nigeria Limited have signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) to empower and create enabling environment for Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs) in Nigeria by providing them business support services such as access to premium content, business networks, capacity building initiatives and innovative offers of banking and technology services. The partnership is also expected to enable SMEs thrive and find more creative ways to solve their business growth challenges. At the MoU signing ceremony in Lagos, Deputy Managing Director, First Bank, Gbenga Shobo, expressed the bank’s unwavering commitment to the business success of SMEs in the country with its array of products and bespoke solutions, specially designed to help grow and sustain them. “We are committed to the development of SMEs and ensuring their sustained business growth.” as well as providing the necessary tools to support that growth and Nigeria’s economy at large,” he stated. In his remark, General Manager, Microsoft Nigeria, Akin Banuso, stated: “Our approach at Microsoft has been one of empowerment and collaboration. Initially, our work with SMEs was strongly focused on bringing them online to boost their productivity and competitiveness. Over the years, as we have worked with and learned from SMEs, our focus has evolved to provide them with a more holistic and game-changing offering, which is: Access to technology, markets, finance, information, skills, and services.” Banuso recalled that Microsoft’s commitments under the 4Afrika banner are focused on playing an active role in Africa’s economic development. “For SMEs, this means empowering them to digitally transform by using technology to be more productive, competitive and in a position to scale across borders. We can help them do this by providing affordable devices, cloud-based software at pay-as-you-go models, anytime-anywhere access, and relevant training and content on how best to apply technology to their business,” he added.

BoI, Ebonyi unveil N4bn agric fund for civil servants

Managing Director, Bank of Industry (BoI), Mr. Olukayode Pitan

The Bank of Industry (BoI) and Ebonyi State government have unveiled another N4 billion matching funds to improve agricultural activities embarked upon by workers in the state.

This is riding by the side of the Anchor Borrowers Scheme initiated by the Central Bank of Nigeria, which the state has used to upscale its agricultural activities, especially in rice cultivation.

The N4 billion EBSG-BoI Agro-based Fund for civil servants, is coming on the heels of the N4 billion MSME Matching Fund that was activated in July 2017.

Speaking at the Ngele Oruta Township Stadium, Abakiliki, during the MoU signing ceremony and presentation of cheques to qualified applicants under the MSME scheme, the Managing Director of BoI, Olukayode Pitan, noted that the event was a consolidation of a thriving partnership between the state and the development bank.

“Today’s dual event represents an important milestone in the consolidation of the partnership and efforts of BoI and the Ebonyi state government to develop and promote entrepreneurship, develop and grow agriculture and its value chain businesses and the MSMEs in the state; to create a solid future for both the MSMEs and the State’s civil servants who are the engine room for the execution of state policies and programmes year on year,” he said.

The state Governor, Dave Umahi, noted that Ebonyi is the pioneer of such an initiative to improve the lots of civil servants across the country, stressing that proffering a solution to the low and erratic earnings of civil servants ought to be addressed as a national issue, because if civil servants are rich, the nation would be rich.

“I get so bothered about the issues of civil servants in the country, because their take home cannot match market forces and yet many states in our federation cannot pay this meager salary to civil servants,” he said.

He assured civil servants that the loans were ready to be assessed from this month of June, to enable them start off their ventures across the agricultural value chain, adding that the Constitution permits civil servants to engage in agricultural vocation.

But Pitan disclosed that both funding schemes were being offered at single digit interest rates – five per cent and 6.2 per cent for medium term (3 -5 years) and working capital financing respectively with moratorium periods (3 – 12 months).

Before presenting cheques to beneficiaries of the N4 billion MSME Fund, the Pitan commended the harmonious working relationship of the bank and the state, coordinated by the State Implementation Committee (SIC), in identifying viable MSMEs across the 13 local government councils of the state.

“So far, the bank has approved a total of 34 loans valued at over N206 million to MSMEs in the state under the Matching Fund. In addition, the Bank has also approved and granted loans worth over N3.17 billion (N1.81 billion disbursed) from its own direct funds to 22 other businesses in Ebonyi state,” he said.

He stated that the business sectors supported included rice milling and processing; quarry and solid minerals (lead mining); food processing; roofing sheet production; water bottling and packaging; mattresses and foam production, metal fabrication among others.

The bank also impacted the economy of the state through the Federal Government’s social security scheme – Government Enterprise and Empowerment Programme (GEEP), targeted at traders and artisans, which has supported 2,525 beneficiaries to the tune of N126.22 million, according to Pitan.

Simi is the Cover Girl for Genevieve Magazine’s Beauty Issue

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Singer/Songwriter Simi is the cover star for Genevieve Magazine‘s June 2018 issue. This marks the magazine’s first beauty issue!

For the cover feature, Simi talks about self-love, insecurities and keeping her private life out of the public eye.

Inside the magazine, Sika Osei opens up about Colourism in Nigeria and the continent at large, with a personal essay. There is also a tell-all interview with Beverly Naya.

See List Of Countries That Refused To Vote For Morocco To Host 2026 World Cup..

 

At least 11 African countries did not vote for Morocco to host the 2026 World Cup.

They are: Benin, Guinea, Liberia, Mozambique, Namibia, Sierra Leone, South Africa and Zimbabwe.

Botswana, Cape Verde and Lesotho are the other countries.

Instead they opted for a joint bid of the United States of America (USA), Mexico and Canada, which eventually won the hosting rights.

Morocco would have been the second African nation to host the tournament, after South Africa did in 2010.

The result was determined by more than 200 national soccer federations, who cast their ballots to cap FIFA’s annual Congress.

The 2026 tournament will feature an expanded field of 48 teams, an increase from the current 32.

It will also mark the first time in FIFA’s history, that a three-nation bid has been awarded the showpiece event.

Market capitalisation up by N63 billion in bullish trading

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Following price gains recorded by most blue-chip stocks, transactions on the equity sector of the Nigerian Stock Exchange re-opened in an upbeat yesterday, as market capitalisation rose by N63 billion.

Also, the total volume of transactions traded also increased to 603.1 million shares, worth N3.8billion, and traded in 3,832 deals.

Specifically, the All-Share Index (ASI) gained 175.09 absolute points, representing a growth of 0.45 per cent to close at 38,844.32 points from 38,669.23 achieved on Friday.

Similarly, the market capitalisation gained N63 billion from N14.007 billion to N14.071 trillion.

The improved performance was impacted by gains recorded in medium and large capitalised stocks, amongst which are; Presco, Nascon Alied Industries, Nigerian Breweries, Flourmill Nigeria and Guaranty Trust Bank.

Analysts at APT Securities and Funds Limited said: “Gains so far continue to be dominated by big cap stocks in Consumer Goods and Banking sector. We expect more positive stance this week as sentiment traction seems quiet relaxed.”

Afinvest Securities Limited said: “Last week’s gains were largely in line with expectations as positive performance was largely driven by bargain hunting in bellwethers following successive weeks and 11 consecutive days of losses.

Hence, we believe the rebound in the market will be sustained in the coming week as investors continue to take advantage of existing attractive entry prices in fundamentally sound stock.”|

Also, market breadth closed positive, with 30 gainers versus 20 losers. NASCON Allied Industries recorded the highest price gain of 7.14 per cent, to close at N24, while Diamond Bank followed with a gain of 6.58 per cent to close at N1.62, per share.

Japaul Oil gained 6.45 per cent to close at 33 kobo, while NAHCO and Equity Assurance appreciated by five per cent to close at N4.20 and 21 kobo per share, respectively.

On the other hand, Berger Paints led the losers’ chart by five per cent, to close at N8.55 per share.

BOC Gas followed with a decline of 4.97 per cent, to close at N4.21, while Eterna depreciated by 4.73 per cent to close at N6.25 per share.

Dollar picks up ahead of Fed but stocks mostly retreat

The dollar extended gains against its peers in Asian trade Wednesday as investors await a key Federal Reserve decision later in the day, but most equity markets dipped.As the euphoria over the historic summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un recedes, investors are focusing on macroeconomic issues with concerns over global trade causing some discomfort.

“With a rate hike widely expected, investors are focused on the Fed’s statement wording, economic projections and press conference for clarification on the future pace of interest rate hikes,” said Jo Horton, a senior economist at St. George Bank in Sydney.

Speculation about further increases was fuelled by data Tuesday showing US inflation at a six-year high in May.

And Greg McKenna, chief market strategist at AxiTrader said: “With oil up, wage pressures apparently building, and the US economy bouncing back strongly in the second quarter, the (Fed) is likely to be fairly forthright in their ascertainment that rates will need to continue to be increased — however gradually.”

The dollar continues to enjoy support against most other currencies ahead of the Fed decision, with the pound hamstrung by British Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit struggles after she made some big compromises to push through key legislation.

The euro is also slightly weaker ahead of the European Central Bank’s own policy meeting on Thursday, where it is seen discussing winding in its crisis-era bond-buying stimulus.

– ZTE plunges —
On equity markets Tokyo’s Nikkei ended the day with gains of 0.4 percent as exporters were lifted by the weaker yen.

But Hong Kong dropped 1.1 percent with Chinese telecoms equipment maker ZTE collapsing almost 40 percent as it resumed trading after agreeing to pay a massive fine over its handling of a US sanctions violation.

The firm suspended trading in April after Washington said it had banned American companies from selling crucial hardware and software components to it for seven years.

However, that was reduced to a $1 billion penalty, plus another $400 million in escrow to cover possible future violations, after a deal was hammered out between the US and China.

On other markets Shanghai fell one percent, Sydney dropped 0.5 percent and Singapore was one percent lower. There were also losses in Manila and Bangkok, though Wellington and Taipei rose slightly.

In early European trade London fell 0.2 percent but Paris and Frankfurt each rose 0.1 percent.

Oil prices extended losses just over a week before OPEC and its partners including Russia meet in Vienna to talk about a production cap deal that has been key to a recovery in the commodity for the past two years.

There are worries OPEC kingpin Saudi Arabia and Russia will push to lift their output ceilings, though they are said to be facing opposition from other members of the cartel, including Iraq.

Adding to the price weakness was a report showing a rise in US stockpiles that indicates easing demand.

 

If You Can Find This Picture, I Will Give You N5million – Sijibomi Ogundele..

 

Sijibomi Ogundele, the Boss of Sujimoto Construction limited has expressed desire in rewarding any person who is able to find a picture of him with MKO Abiola with five million naira.

The Billionaire entrepreneur shared this on social media as follows:-

“In 1993, i met Chief MKO Abiola just before Elections. He shook my hand and encouraged me. After enquiring about my name, photographer at the event took picture of us.

Unfortunately, i don’t have the picture. Anyone who can dig up this picture will get a 5 Million Naira Cash Reward”

Trump declares via Twitter that North Korea nuclear threat is over

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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump declared on Wednesday that there was “no longer a Nuclear Threat from North Korea,” a dubious claim following his summit with leader Kim Jong Un that produced no guarantees on how and when Pyongyang would disarm.

“Just landed – a long trip, but everybody can now feel much safer than the day I took office,” he tweeted.

“There is no longer a Nuclear Threat from North Korea. Meeting with Kim Jong Un was an interesting and very positive experience. North Korea has great potential for the future!”

Trump’s claim that North Korea no longer poses a nuclear threat is questionable considering Pyongyang’s significant weapons arsenal.

Independent experts say the North could have enough fissile material for anywhere between about a dozen and 60 nuclear bombs. Last year it tested long-range missiles that could reach the U.S. mainland, although it remains unclear if it has mastered the technology to deliver a nuclear warhead that could re-enter the atmosphere and hit its target.

And while Trump and Kim have signed a joint statement that contained a repeat of past promises to work toward a denuclearized Korean Peninsula, the details haven’t been nailed down. Trump has said strong verification would be included in a final agreement, with the particulars sorted out by his team with the North Koreans next week.

“Before taking office people were assuming that we were going to War with North Korea,” Trump tweeted Wednesday. “President (Barack) Obama said that North Korea was our biggest and most dangerous problem. No longer – sleep well tonight!”

Trump’s chest-thumping tweets seemed reminiscent of the “Mission Accomplished” banner flown behind President George W. Bush in 2003 when he spoke aboard a Navy ship following the U.S. invasion of Iraq. The words came back to haunt the administration, as the war dragged on throughout Bush’s presidency.

When asked whether Trump was jumping the gun by declaring victory, White House counselor Kellyanne Conway told reporters: “This president wants North Korea to completely denuclearize so obviously that has to be complete, verifiable and irreversible. That will take a while.”

Trump and Kim were returning to their respective strongholds following the talks — but to far different receptions.

In Pyongyang, North Korean state media heralded claims of a victorious meeting with the U.S. president; photos of him standing side-by-side with Trump on the world stage were splashed across newspapers. Trump, meanwhile, faced questions about whether he gave away too much in return for far too little when he bestowed a new legitimacy on Kim’s rule and agreed, at Pyongyang’s request, to end war games with Seoul that the allies had long portrayed as crucial to Asian safety.

There were worries, especially in Tokyo and Seoul, which have huge U.S. military presences, about Trump agreeing to halt U.S. military exercises with South Korea, which the North has long claimed were invasion preparations. That concession to Kim appeared to catch the Pentagon and officials in Seoul off guard, and some South Koreans were alarmed.

“The United States is our ally, so the joint military drills are still necessary to maintain our relationship with the U.S.,” said Lee Jae Sung, from Incheon. “I think they will be continued for a while.”

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo arrived at Osan Air Base south of Seoul from Singapore early Wednesday evening. He met for nearly an hour at the air base with Gen. Vincent Brooks, commander of U.S. Forces Korea, before heading by motorcade to Seoul.

Pompeo will meet President Moon Jae-in on Thursday morning to discuss the summit. Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Kono is also heading to Seoul and is due to meet with Pompeo and his South Korean counterpart. Pompeo, the former CIA director, then plans to fly to Beijing to update the Chinese government on the talks.

Moon has championed engagement with the North, and the agreement’s language on North Korea’s nuclear program was similar to what the leaders of North and South Korea came up with at their own summit in April. Trump and Kim referred back to the so-called Panmunjom Declaration, which contained a weak commitment to denuclearization but no specifics on how to achieve it.

The North suggested Wednesday that Trump had moved away from his demand for complete denuclearization before U.S. sanctions on the long-isolated country are removed.

The Singapore agreement does not detail plans for North Korea to demolish a missile engine testing site, a concession Trump said he’d won, or Trump’s promise to end military exercises in the South while negotiations between the U.S. and the North continue. Trump cast that decision as a cost-saving measure, but also called the exercises “inappropriate” while talks continue.

The U.S. has stationed combat troops in South Korea since the end of the Korean War in the 1950s and has used them in a variety of drills. The next scheduled major exercise, involving tens of thousands of troops, normally is held in August.

The Pentagon said Tuesday it was consulting with the White House and others, but was silent on whether the August exercise would proceed. Defense Secretary James Mattis’ chief spokeswoman, Dana W. White, told reporters he was “in full alignment” with Trump.

In Japan, the prospect of canceled U.S.-South Korean drills was met with concern.

“The U.S.-South Korea joint exercises and U.S. forces in South Korea play significant roles for the security in East Asia,” Japanese Defense Minister Itsunori Onodera told reporters Wednesday. He said he planned to continue sharing the view with Washington and Seoul.

Tokyo stocks close higher as yen weakens

Employees of a foreign exchange trading company in Tokyo look at the screens displaying live news of meeting between North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and US President Donald Trump in Singapore, and the Japanese yen’s exchange rate against the US dollar on June 12, 2018. Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un have become on June 12 the first sitting US and North Korean leaders to meet, shake hands and negotiate to end a decades-old nuclear stand-off. 

Tokyo stocks closed higher on Wednesday helped by a cheaper yen, as market focus shifted from Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un’s summit to US and European central bank meetings.

The benchmark Nikkei 225 index rose 0.38 percent, or 88.03 points, to 22,966.38, while the broader Topix index was up 0.42 percent, or 7.55 points, at 1,800.37.

“A cheaper yen against the dollar helped boost” Japanese shares, Daiwa Securities said in a commentary.

The dollar fetched 110.56 yen in Asian trade, against 110.36 yen in New York.

Global markets moved little following the Trump-Kim meeting on Tuesday, with some analysts lauding the positive tone of the event, despite uncertainty about whether it would result in significant change.

Investors are now watching the conclusion of the Fed’s meeting later Wednesday and the ECB policy decision on Thursday.

Exporters closed higher, with Toyota adding 1.34 percent to 7,496 yen, while Honda rose 1.44 percent to 3,880 yen.

Sony gained 0.42 percent to 5,501 yen.

Toshiba surged 6.64 percent to 337 yen after it said it was buying back 700 billion yen of it shares after completing the sale of its memory chip business.

Nintendo dropped 6.21 percent to 39,120 yen after its presentation at the E3 trade show disappointed investors by failing to mention new products.

A Must Read: The gravity of the Nigerian situation

Nigerian-economyNigeria

In the run up to the 2015 elections, the former governor of the Central Bank, Prof. Charles Soludo, published what turned out to be a prophetic article. The article pointed out that, regardless of who won the elections, the country appeared to be heading for troubled waters and the discussion should be focused on how to get the country through the turbulent times and ultimately how to transform the economy into one that works for Nigerians. Alas, the elections came and went with the predicted economic prophecies fulfilled.

Four years later and although the situation is different, the fundamental question to all the candidates is the same: how can we transform the economy into one that works for Nigerians? The gravity of the situation is often lost on politicians who prefer to focus on simple sound bites like “growing the economy”. The onus however is on the voters to demand answers from the politicians on how they plan to tackle the serious challenges regarding the economy.

The first of these questions is how to get the economy back to growth. I know the official story by government is that we are showing a strong recovery after the recession, but the recovery is anything but strong. With a population that is growing at just under three percent a year, any growth that falls below that means we are really getting poorer. Given the toxic policy environment that followed the crash in the oil price, the fear is that the economy will remain sluggish for years as happened in the 1980s. Indeed, the IMF is already predicting eight years of decline in real income growth per capita. In English that means on average we are going to get poorer for the next eight years. Of course, eight-year forecasts into the future are very risky in terms of accuracy, but the mere fact that it is a possibility should have alarm bells ringing. Dear politician, how are you going to get the economy back to growth?

Growth is not everything as the say. After all, we were growing at seven per cent, but that growth was jobless. Growth is a necessary condition for most improvement, but the jobs problem stands out as a separate question that needs to be answered. With unemployment at 18.8 per cent and underemployment at over 20 per cent, the problem needs no introduction.

To get a sense of the scale of the challenge, according to estimates, over 20 million Nigerians are set to enter the labour force in the next three years. The economy needs to create about five million jobs a year just to ensure that the unemployment rate does not increase. To eradicate unemployment completely over 30 million jobs will need to be created by 2020. Dear politician, what is your plan to deal with the unemployment challenge? And no, we employed 250,000 people in the N-Power program is not an answer.

If the unemployment challenge is scary then the poverty problem should make everyone angry. The problem is so bad that we don’t even really know what the poverty rate is. We haven’t officially measured poverty since 2010 no thanks to funding challenges at the statistics agency. Or perhaps, we have had governments that don’t like to hear bad numbers.

According to a report by the Oxford Poverty and Human Development initiative, 53 per cent of people in Nigeria were living in poverty with another 18 per cent vulnerable to poverty. This study used data from 2013, before the recent recession so the current numbers are likely higher. According to the world poverty clock, Nigeria is set to become the world poverty capital this year – that is, the country with the largest number of people living in poverty. Dear politician, how are you going to tackle poverty?

There are more questions on the escalating violence around the country, the decay in education and health sectors, and the unfortunate statistic that 95 per cent of all our exports are still made up crude oil and natural gas. But I think we get the point. All the candidates must answer these questions, and the onus is on us the voters to demand that they do.

Nonso Obikili is an economist currently roaming somewhere between Nigeria and South Africa. The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s and do not reflect the views of his employers.

Slay Queen – “Once A Guy Sleeps With Me, He Become Wretched For Life”

 

Just lately a facebook slay mama made a shocking and appalling post on a facebook group page about what she may possess spiritually to absorb men blessings after sleeping with her, that every success and destiny of any man she sleeps with become hers, and the victim would remain wretched forever.

The lady with the facebook user “Queen lisa lisa” stoutly said this, perhaps to create a certain impression of her to every users that may have seen it, even though no one knows how genuine or real she could be, it still sounds a note of warning to every flirting guys out there to beware.

She said:-

Once i sleep with a guy, his destiny and success becomes mine, and he’ll be wretched for the rest of his life ✌✌ Temple queen.

One word for her!

Top 10 Countries You Should Never Visit

Top-10-Countries-You-Should-Never-Visit.jpg

Our planet is packed with countries that offer its visitors with picture-perfect moments. Some people even strive to visit every country in the world. Unfortunately, there are some countries that you just cannot and should not visit. Political unrest, wars, and archaic rules have made it difficult to visit these countries. Here’s a list of the top 10 countries you should never visit.

10 Countries To Avoid While Travelling

1. Syria

Possibly the most dangerous place on Earth right now is Syria. Almost completely under the control of the ISIS caliphate, Syria is a terrifying war zone that you best avoid. Once a land full of beauty and historical significance now a terror state with no end in sight for the fighting.

2. Yemen

A country that has been embroiled in political unrest that it just seems to be unable to get out of. It would do a lot of good to stay clean of Yemen till the situation clears out.

3. Saudi Arabia

Every traveler looking to visit Saudi Arabia need to be sponsored by a local resident. This makes getting there pretty hard unless you have some family or friends. Getting a sponsor doesn’t even qualify you for a visa as it may still get rejected by the stringent process they follow.

4. South Sudan

If the internal political rivalries, murders, and political unrest weren’t enough to stop you in your tracks, South Sudan is also one of the most famine affected state in Africa. The harsh weather, lack of proper drinking and sanitation facilities kill more people than are murdered each year.

5. North Korea

With the recent friendship with South Korea blossoming North Korea may lift the travel embargo. However, its leader Kim Joung Un is extremely unpredictable and you may never know what you could do to offend their military police. Stay away from this place for a while.

6. The Central African Republic

Many African nations including the Central African Republic are considered too dangerous to travel in. Especially for tourists. Apart from the gang wars you also have to keep an eye out for thieves rapists and murderers.

7. Afghanistan

While the situation might look better as the years progress it will still be a while before Afghanistan can be considered safe to travel to. It still has a large number of foreign troops guarding its land and they’re slowly starting to turn things over to the locals.

8. Somalia

While the thought of modern pirates may sound exciting, it truly isn’t. Somalian pirates are vicious and out for blood. If you still want to get on land, you’ll still need someone to sponsor your visa? Have many friends in Somalia?

9. El Salvador

While this South American country may seem like a backpackers paradise it’s actually quite dangerous to visit. El Salvador has the highest murder rate in the world. While the global murder average is 6.2 people for every 100,000 El Salvador’s murder rate is 91 killings. Just something to think about.

10. Libya

The African theme runs strong here in the 10 countries to avoid while traveling. Libya is just another shining example of what happens when people fail to get along and internal wars bust out. Avoid this place like the plague because chances are also if you don’t get shot or butchered, you’ll come back home with malaria.

After 20 Years Of Running, Yahoo! Messenger Announce Its Finally Shutting Down.

Yahoo Messenger, the messaging app that many people probably didn’t know still existed, is finally shutting down for good, according to Business Insider.

The app is shutting down on July 17, after a 20-year run. Yahoo, which was acquired by Verizon in 2017, didn’t give an explanation for shutting its messenger down, but given the sheer amount of already popular messaging apps on the market, it was probably hard to compete with the existing product.

Yahoo is currently beta testing an invite-only messaging app called Squirrel, which could serve as a replacement for those who will miss Messenger.

However, since Squirell’s release last month, it has been downloaded fewer than 5,000 times, compared to the nearly half-million downloads of Yahoo Messenger during the last quarter, according to Randy Nelson, the head of mobile insights at Sensor Tower.

“We know we have many loyal fans who have used Yahoo Messenger since its beginning as one of the first chat apps of its kind,” Yahoo wrote in a press release.

“As the communications landscape continues to change over, we’re focusing on building and introducing new, exciting communications tools that better fit consumer needs.

“There currently isn’t a replacement product available for Yahoo Messenger,” the company writes. “We’re constantly experimenting with new services and apps, one of which is an invite-only group messaging app called Yahoo Squirrel (currently in beta).”

Squirrel is a group messaging app Yahoo started testing last month.

Yahoo Messenger was one of the first instant messaging apps created, but it struggled to keep up with modern apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Snapchat.

Berger Paints shareholders endorse N144.9m total dividend

Dr Oladimeji Alo

For increasing shareholders’ value on investment through dividend payout, shareholders of Berger Paints Plc, at the weekend, commended the board for enhancing their returns on investments, as they approved a total dividend of N144.9 million, culminating to 50 kobo per share for the 2017 financial year.

The Chairman of the company, Dr Oladimeji Alo, who highlighted strategic achievements of the company as he stepped down from the board amid commendations from the shareholders, said the firm has constructed a fully automated multi-billion Naira paint factory, the first of its type in Sub-Sahara Africa. It is scheduled to commence operations before the end of this year.

Alo, however, is succeeded by Abi Ayida, a Non-Executive Director, who assured that the board and management would build on the solid foundation laid by his predecessor by harnessing human and material resources to enhance value creation for shareholders.

According to Alo, the company had upgraded its Enterprise Resource Package. Specifically, it has implemented Microsoft Navision Enterprises Management System, which replaced the old Sage Software in order to enhance speed and accuracy of data management and improve operational efficiency for better customer service

He listed some of the achievements in 2017 to include: building the capacity of the management team, Upgrading of the product facilities, Strengthening corporate governance, introducing a culture of regulatory compliance.

Others are: enthroning a culture of strategic management, implementation of a new enterprise management system, blocking loopholes for fraud and related corporate malfeasance, developing new sales and marketing strategies among others.

Alo said the company-recorded revenue of N3 billion, representing 19 per cent rise when compared to N2.6 billion recorded in the corresponding period in 2016.

The firm’s profit before tax also rose from N278 million to N339 million during the period under review, showing 25 per cent growth. Profit after tax also rose from N224 million to N246 million.

He said the board had developed structures and processes that would help reposition the company for sustainable growth and enhanced shareholders value in a near future.

“With that done and with the right leadership, the company can continue its march to greatness. In the last four years under my leadership, the board had devoted considerable energy to a reengineering programme to fulfill its mandate.”

Responding to Dr Alo’s the National President of Independent Shareholders Associarion of Nigeria, Sir Sunny Nwosu, commended him for the historic achievements of the company during his tenure. He urged him to continue to support the company in whatever capacity.

Another shareholder, Mathew Akinlade explained that the company’s performance was good in the review period, noting that its large-scale investment in a new automated plant would improve its earnings.

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